OLD" IS WHEN..... 
Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and
  make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"

  "OLD" IS WHEN..... 
Your friends compliment you on your new
  alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

  "OLD" IS WHEN..... 
A sexy babe catches your fancy and your
  pacemaker opens the garage door.

  "OLD" IS WHEN..... 
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out
  of your face.

  "OLD" IS WHEN..... 
You don't care where your spouse goes,
  just as long as you don't have to go along.

  "OLD" IS WHEN..... 
You are cautioned to slow down by the
  doctor instead of by the police.

  "OLD" IS WHEN..... 
"Getting a little action" means you don't
  need to take any fiber today.

  "OLD" IS WHEN..... 
"Getting lucky" means you find your car in
  the parking lot.

  "OLD" IS WHEN..... 
An "all nighter" means not having to get
  up to pee!

Hope you've enjoyed these chuckles.